E.G. Labs discovers a new source of energy – cats and jelly, among other things.
Scientists at the lab discovered that whatever the height a cat falls from, it always lands on its feet. They further discovered that jelly toast always lands with the jellied side down, especially when on top of a carpet.
So, they determined that by attaching toast to the back of a cat, the vertical forces will cancel out when the cat with a jelly toast on its back nears the carpet. They decided to eliminate the toast altogether by spreading jelly on the back of the cat, as the toast has a nasty habit of falling off the cat.
The scientists then derived the mathematical relation f(x) = k/x that determines the time when the cat with jelly on its back is at height x. Based on this relation, the jellied cat will never hit the ground but will instead turn on its center of gravity for eternity. This new source of energy is going to be first rolled out for trains, revolutionizing transport, as can be seen in this video.
Unfortunately, they have yet to determine how to replace tracks with carpets.
Disclaimer: this was an April’s Fools post. Have a green April!
